As far as I am concerned, writing Christmas cards drunk is the only way to do them. My absolute favorite part of Bridget Jones' Diary (or maybe it was in the sequel) is when she gets tanked on wine and sends gushy no-holds barred cards to all sorts of people she shouldn't have. Drinking makes the task go faster, and it is much safer to write Christmas cards drunk than, say, bake cookies. Possibility of nasty paper cut is far less threatening than possibility of sugar burn.

Not that there aren't sometimes also unanticipated side effects to doing your Christmas cards drunk. For one, you tend to end up writing messages like "MISSED YOU ALL YEAR! THINK OF YOU CONSTANTLY!!! REMEMBER ALL THAT FUN WE USED TO HAVE IN COLLEGE...OH SO MANY YEARS AGO! XOXOXOXOXOX :) :) :) :)"

But that can be nice. Sometimes people you totally lost contact with are touched by your inebriated drivel and write back. Really really boring letters which remind you of why you stopped bothering to keep tabs on them in first place, and lead you to neglect to respond to them until the next December, when lo and behold, it is Christmas card time again!

It is not as if there is a prize for sending out the most Christmas cards, and yet I get a sick sense of satisfaction from my ever-growing pile of stamped & addressed cards ready to be dropped in the mailbox once I stop oohing over them. This year in particular, I have a sneaking suspicion that many of the people I am sending cards to are going to be puzzled and/or inconvenienced by them (i.e. friends of my parents who I added to the Christmas card list after they gave us wedding presents and feel awkward cutting loose now). The psychic break-through this year is that I don't actually care. If they like the card, fine and dandy and stick it up over the mantel. If not, WTF do I care. It's not as if I am expecting a card back for each one I send out.

In conclusion:

Me = total drunk

Christmas cards = almost done