My public service announcement for today is DON'T DEFACE BOOKS IN THE INTEREST OF LETTING ALL POSTERITY KNOW WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GENEROUS PERSON YOU WERE TO BESTOW THIS TOME UPON SOMEONE ELSE.

And especially don't do this by sticking a tawdry nametag sticker on the inside cover, you vile sewage heap, so that the next person to get the book has to carefully peel the sticker up, shredding bits of the inset map in the process, just to erase all traces of your florid blue-marker philanthropy.

Jeezy Kreezy. At least spring for a book plate. They're available at any major book chain. Many of them have teddy bears and unicorns on them, which I somehow suspect would appeal to you.

My only consolation is that whoever received the book--actually, I know who that was: ANDREW, in perky cursive--didn't care for it, seeing as how I bought it used, and therefore all your self-serving benevolence was for naught. Naught I tell you!