When crawling across the dirty floor, baby rampy can't jam her fingers into her mouth fast enough, but when I want her to pick up the bits of banana on her tray and eat them, she just does banana-smeared one-handed koan clap over and over.

So we can't put trash outside the night before trash collection day because the raccoons will get into it, but when fastidious recycling picker-upper guy dumps old pizza crusts out of our discarded pizza box onto the curb because they aren't technically cardboard they lie there for four days and counting.

In other news, let us never speak of apr�s-yam diapers.