Years We Have Had the Van: 20

Number of Family Members It Is Older Than: 1

Color My Mother Wanted to Get: Hippie candy-colored, red or green especially

Color We Did Get: Chocolate brown and ivory

Times Its Entire Engine Has Been Replaced: 1

Times We Thought It Was Going to Blow Up: 1

Adults It Can Seat: 7

Small Carpooling Children It Can Seat: 9

Feet I Have Driven It In All The Time We've Had It: 10

Model of Van I Wanted Us to Get: The Camper one with the fold down bunk in the back section; would have been hella more fun to live in than our house.

Times I Cut My Wrist on the Edge of the Slidey-Door Window Playing "Don't Touch the Ground" While Parked in a Parking Lot: 1

Reason We Had to Special-Install a large T-shaped Air Conditioning Unit on the Van's Ceiling: Apparently it never gets hot in Germany

Times the Air Conditioner's Exhaust Pipe Blocked up during a Long Road Trip So That a Reservoir of Water Collected in the Unit and Suddenly Cascaded Down on Me and My Seat When We Turned a Corner: 2

Parental Down and Dirty Solution to This Problem: Purchasing a big sponge for me to 'catch' the water with if it started dripping down again.

States the Van Has Travelled to: Arkansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Louisiana, Texas

Times the Radio Has Been Stolen While the Van Was Parked in a Somewhat Shady Parking-Lot: 1

Person Who Parked the Van in Said Parking-Lot: My dad

People Who Would Have Gotten in Big Trouble Had They Parked the Van in This Parking-Lot and Gotten the Radio Stolen: Any of the rest of us.

Number of Volkswagen Beetle Little Siblings Our Van Has: 1

Flowers My Mother Displays in the Vase of this Beetle: Silk Blue Bonnets

My Impression of the Colors Available for the New Beetles: Very very disappointing.

Reason I Care about the Colors Available for the New Beetles: If you don't understand this by now, go to the top and start rereading.