Tonight at the grocery store, the lady in line ahead of me made the clerk take a 99 cent yogurt off her bill because she thought it was only going to be 60 cents. Then she charged the groceries she kept. All $5.96 of them.

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I used to work the Saturday shift at a college bookstore. The majority of the business at those times was students running in to get last-minute scantrons and bluebooks. The scantrons were like 10 cents and the bluebooks ran up to about 50 cents, depending on their size. One time this lady came to the checkout to buy a scantron, and then was all "Oh, I don't have any money." Which I found very irresponsible of her, so I made her charge the purchase--13 cents with tax--on her gold American Express card. Which was very irresponsible of me, because we probably paid more in processing fees on than transaction than we made back from it. But it was the principle of the matter.

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I was buying mr rampy a valentine's day card the other day at Whole Foods. It was an impulse buy while I was picking up sushi for lunch. Apparently some water from someone else's hydroponic veggies had dripped on the conveyer belt and gotten on my card, because all of a sudden I noticed the clerk slowly rubbing the card on her apron front. Then she held it in front of her, peered at it, kind of lightly squeezed its corner, and began rubbing it on herself some more.

I was so stunned I didn't say anything. She never said anything either, not even "This may be water-damaged. Would you like to exchange it?" She just kept dreamily rubbing it on herself, staring eyes unfocused into the middle distance with Rain Man concentration.

It seems fine to me, except for that "I was copiously rubbed against the front of a stranger" stigma. Had it actually been visibly marred by its contact with water, I was going to tell mr rampy those marks were from tears of love.