I managed to mess up both the (brand-spanking new) copier and the printer at work the other day. They both got phantom (I thought) paper jams and started flashing little pictures of what I should do (step one: open front door; step two: move Lever A three inches to the right; step three: avoid piping hot steel bar while reaching into the innards and feeling around for paper; step four: pull out three tiny shreads of paper, think "Yeah, that's probably all there was!" and close the puppy up; step five: go back to step one).

The pictures were not that helpful to say the least. They totally did not feature the part where I was standing despondently to one side, staring at the (seemingly) paper-free chasm inside, and trying to remember not to wipe toner all over my nice pants.

And then the printer jammed really badly.

I think we invested in cheap paper, and the copier and printer are staging a revolt together. They shouldn't look for much sympathy from me, however, because the cheap stuff is so flimsy and soft that I am much less likely to gash my fingers open on it than on the stiff good quality paper we usually use.

And isn't that what it's all about: trying to give the client as little as possible of my life's blood?