I was bored the other night and decided to googlestalk some people with whom I went to grade school. Unfortunately they all either had very common names (to the point where so many entries came up that I couldn't bring myself to click through more than 20 pages before giving up) or the information I did find was just boring work stuff (it's not surprising that my friend who was in Mensa in the fourth grade would end up doing something with computer programming).

Then I googlestalked myself, even though I knew for a fact that the only entry that comes up for my maiden name is this fake Web newspaper, like the Onion, that some friends made for me and mr rampy when we got married. One full of pictures of me being ravished by Superman and cavorting with a male stripper. For years I've thought about how funny it is that if any grade school peeps tried to googlestalk me, this is what would come up. But the other night it occured to me that they would know from the mention of mr rampy in the newspaper what my new last name is, and could then googlestalk that.

It's a common name, and the few times I've tried googlestalking myself that way nothing has come up that actually referred to me (I prefer anonymity for my Web frolics). However, this time I noticed that one of the pages that comes up for my married name links to this amateur writing Web site where a few poems and a children's story are posted under my name. A few really crappy poems and a very twee children's story.

I do write a bit, and I did back in grade school as well, so now I am mortified at the thought that people from my past might find these writings and think they actually stemmed from me. Mortified to the point that I am considering setting up a Web site page containing only my name (repeated about 90 times to make sure it googles really well) and a statement strongly disavowing any relationship whatsoever with this drivel.

Because that would entail less work than doing something noteworthy enough to come up in a positive way the next time somebody googlestalks me.