My driver's license will be expiring on my birthday soon, so I'll have to go through all the bother of going to the DMV and getting a new picture.

I actually don't mind the whole "being photographed" part. I've been very lucky over the years that no matter how bad I manage to look in regular photos, my driver's license ones are always a-OK, nice to the point that I actually have a collection of them dating back to my very first learner's permit.

The thing is that back in Texas they would let you keep the old license, once they cut off a corner of it or something to indicate it was void. But in Chicago, they confiscate it and melt it down to plastic goo. When that happened to my last Texas license when changing over to an Illinois one, I remember standing there mouth agape like "WAIT! THAT WAS MY BEST PICTURE EVER." But I was afraid they would think I was going to use it for forgeries or something if I dove to save it, so I let that go.

Now I'm planning how to save my current one. Plan A is to go to Kinko's and make a color copy for my "records." Plan B is to bring scissors with me and ask if I can cut out just the picture part before they destroy the rest.

Best case scenario I don't chicken out, go through with the scissors thing, and come across as a foaming at the mouth narcissist.

Worst case scenario I don't chicken out, go through with the scissors thing, and get arrested as a dangerous DMV-attacking, bladed-weapon-wielding terrorist.

Luckily I will probably end up with an awesome mug shot.