To briefly recap, I made a travel brochure for "Narnia as theme park" for a fifth-grade book report. I'd been living and breathing Narnia for years after I first read the books, so I guess this was the next logical step in my obsession (and probably more fun as a travel destination than my friend's brochure for Tom Sawyer, whose pitch essentially boiled down to "Come whitewash fences!" and whose form was less "brochure" and more "picket fence made from posterboard").

While transcribing the information about the lands below, I'm going to fix the spelling because my original spelling was complete pants (goldon, soviner, bever, Naria, whitch, mouthsmaking, jems, pasteries...and yet I spelled tarpaulin and baubles correctly). As I've mentioned before, I didn't take a serious interest in correct grammar and punctuation until well into my graduate school years, so naturally at age 10 my spelling was awful as well. I particularly like how I couldn't be bothered to spell even character names and places correctly.

Originally each item was color-coded with a dot to indicate whether it was a ride, shop, or restaurant, an idea I'd stolen from my preciously saved DisneyWorld maps. And some attractions I just didn't think up actual names for.

• Film: See famous battles through a crack in the door. 3:00 every day.
  
• Ride golden Aslans down a track showing Narnia's history from Digory and Polly to Tirian and Jewel.
  
• Souvenir Store: Everything from lion pelts to miniature stables.
  
• Woodwork: Fine wooden tables and chairs. All dwarfmade.
  
• Every Day's a Feast: Wine list, meats, and a dessert of the day.
  
• Fruit Fun: Juicy apples, pears, nectarines, plums, anything you want.
  

• Playground: Play on, under, behind, in and in front of the Stone Table.
  
• Show: See Aslan being crucified and brought back to life. 3:00, 6:00, and 9:00 PM. (ED-Appropriate!)
  
• Knife Pavilion: Everything from kitchen knives to full-length swords. Some knives personalized.
  
• The Hobgoblin Horror Shop: Buy dolls, pictures, and statues of some of the evil things that killed Aslan. (ED-Also appropriate!)
  
• Stone Soup and Other Dishes: Eat stone hard things. Everything from stone soup to rock candy is here. We are not to blame for dentist bills.
  
• First Aid, Restrooms, and Telephones
  

• Ice skate on the wonderful frozen river. Skates can be rented.
  
• Ski down near snow-covered hills. Skis also can be rented.
  
• Mrs. Beaver's Sewing Shop: We have everything from sewing needles to patchwork quilts.
  
• Mr. Beaver's Fish and Tackle: Fake worms, lures, hooks, even icecutters! Everything you need to fish.
  
• Mrs. Beaver's Home-Cooking: Everything from homemade apple pie to hot soups and cocoa.
  
• Babysitting, Restrooms, Telephones, and First Aid
  

• Ride a giant, slippery slide from the top of this tower to the bottom. Safety guaranteed.
  
• Climb knotted ropes to get to the playhouse on the top. Safety net below.
  
• The Armour and Weapon Shop: Chain mail, shields, swords, bows and arrows, and a bag of spears.
  
• Tirian's Bread and Pastry Shop: Different kinds of breads and treats.
  
• Jill's Herbs and Spices: A large selection of dishes made from different seasonings.
  
• First Aid, Restrooms, and a built-in Hotel
  

• Ride the Tumnus Trolley to sightsee Narnia. 15 minutes a ride.
  
• Ride the dancing fauns as they skip around in a circle.
  
• The Instrument Shop: Everything from accordions to zithers. Lessons for instruments are offered also.
  
• The Pretty Portraits Shop: Portraits done of you and your family. Costs differ.
  
• Teatime with Tumnus: This jolly teashop not only has a wide array of sweets to pick from--also every day at 4:00, Tumnus the faun makes an appearance.
  

• Mudbounce: Bounce on rubbery mud covered by a plastic tarpaulin.
  
• March of the Marsh-wiggles: Every day at 3:00. See a parade of your favorite Narnia characters.
  
• The Marsh-wiggle Gift Shop: Pure Marsh-wiggle items. Everything from pipes and tobacco to hats and blankets.
  
• Tough Tents: Tents and other camping gear.
  
• Marsh-wiggle Munchies: A little snackshop.
  
• Puddleglum's Pantry: True Marsh-wiggle home-cooking.
  
• First Aid, Hotel, Restrooms, and a Telephone
  

• Bumper Coats: Get in a giant coat and ride about bumping other people in coats.
  
• The Flying Lamppost: Get in the top of a lamppost, which is strung to a wire, and get a birdseye view of Narnia.
  
• Furs and Fripperies: The finest fox, mink, rabbit, and possum furs. Also strings and rings of baubles.
  
• Lanterns, Torches, and Other Lights: 1000 different kinds of flashlights, fires, lanterns, and other lighting devices.
  
• The Clothes Closet: Different styles of Narnia clothing.
  
• Mouthsmacking Mothballs: We have everything from mothball souffle to soup ala mothball.
  
• Restrooms and Telephones
  

• Edmund's Exciting Roller Coaster
  
• Lucy's Lazy Ferryboat Ride
  
• Jewelry, Gems, and Other Junk: A room full of useless baubles at low prices.
  
• Toys, Games, and Other Things: A wide array of toys and games, from Ants in Pants to plush Zebras. Satisfaction guaranteed.
  
• Peter's Pastries: Breads from America to Zanzibar. Drinks included.
  
• Susan's Snack, Salad, and Soup Shop: A sweet, satisfying shop with a free snack when you buy the soup and the salad of the day.
  
• Babysitting, Stroller-renting, Telephones, Restrooms, First Aid, and a Hotel
  

• The Statue-go-Round: Ride a statue of your pick around and around.
  
• The White Witch's Weird World: Ride in a chair through this spooky place and watch out, a ghost might sit next to you.
  
• The Crazy Cruise: Ride a boat through the witch's flooded basement. Watch out for sharks!
  
• Get in these gigantic cups and feel them spin around and around. The person who stays on the longest gets a package of Turkish Delight.
  
• First Aid, Restrooms, Telephones, and a map of Narnia
  

I believe Disney is the studio backing the new Narnia movie, and I'm sure they're planning to incorpate parts of Narnia into their theme parks should the movie become a hit. I'll be curious to see if their attraction ideas are as top-drawer as mine.