If baby thinks she can carry the hard cover children's book you are getting for her, don't believe her, because she will drop it so that all its weight focuses into one sharp corner that plummets directly onto the top of your foot.

If you are unsure about whether to splurge and buy a book for yourself, you won't have to wait more than about ten seconds to make up your mind, because by that time baby will have started gnawing on its corner, and if you eat it, you buy it,