My boss told several people at work yesterday that the way I was dressed made me look like a Catholic school-girl. Since that was exactly the look I was going for, I was quite pleased.

I fell for the The Cosby Show Nick-at-Nite commercial because I am always duped by television ads. Like that Colon Blow one on SNL where the voice-over tells Phil Hartman that you'd have to eat thousands of bowls of a regular cereal to equal the colonic goodness of one bowl of Colon Blow. I remember gaping at the screen going, "He'll die if he eats all that!"

Anyway, if you haven't seen this Cosby one, they've taken footage of Cosby funky-dancing in the credits and superimposed it over a white screen, a la all those GAP commercials. For good measure, they then flash the tag line "Funky Sweaters." I found it perfectly believable that Cosby would shill for the GAP, but the idea of the GAP selling crazyquilt sweaters like his gave me pause.

me: Is this for real? Who the hell would buy one of those?

Nick-at-nite identifier flashes on screen

mr. rampy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

me: If that had been real, that almost made me want one.

mr rampy: The GAP is going bankrupt, you know.

me: WE'LL ALL BE NAKED!

As if I shop at the GAP often, or something. I guess the thought of losing a reliable source of ribbed shirts and monochromatic clothes panicked me. And they may not even be like that anymore. I just remember that for several years the only colors any items of clothing (or perfume or other accessories, for that matter) that the GAP sold came in were white, black, khaki, and light blue. Meanwhile Express had decided to stop stocking sophisticated clothing (like jackets with velvet cuffs and tricot knit turtlenecks) and carry only skimpy slut clothes in lime, turquoise, and magenta. Because that's what we all want.

And now they are coming out with Express for Men. Isn't that already Structure?

So confusing.