The fact that some of my google hits are expiring spurred me to raise this monument to them.

Look on my works ye mighty and despair!

pepe + the + shrimp

pepe + the + shrimp + muppets + commercial

pepe + the + shrimp + muppets

(To my everlasting grief, these searches no longer bring up my entry. For the longest time, I was getting pretty regular hits for them from a variety of pepe-lovers. He's the most popular muppet for google searches, you know.)

farvignugen (#1 baby!)

glass + turnip (again, #1!)

big + turnip (once more, #1)

popped + bulb (#28 on yahoo...two places above an erotic story about a poltergeist)

dost + thou + have + a + mug + of + ale + for + me + and + me + mate? + He + has + been + pitched + in + battle + for + a + fortnight (There seem to be other The Cable Guy fans afoot: I am #2 if you google this.)

school + turnip + pictures (I am roughly 127th if you google this one. The hit is all the way on page 13. Apparently someone really wants those pictures. Pervert!)

the + great + big + turnip (I am #1! Superstar! And great and big! And a turnip!)

toy "moo box" -mary (I am #2. It is the 'not mary' that makes it poetry.

dost + thou + have + a (I am #9. So be-est it.)

the + big + turnip (#2 out of many good sites about big turnips)

colon + blow + cereal (I am #4. I still think it would kill you to eat thousands of bowls of regular cereal to match one bowl of colon blow.)

I am getting three to four hits a day for pepe + the + shrimp, thanks to this page. I am #1 on google again!

I also got a hit from FINLAND! Finland google! Who knew? S�kte webben efter +great +turnip! I was #9.

muppets + pepe (I am #13 at Yahoo)

dying + eyelashes + blind (I am #5. I'm sure my entry about how I fear the combination of these three things helped whoever was doing this search immensely).

betty + aberlin (I am #75 on google. How much of an obsessed Mr. Rogers' fan would you have to be to search that far into your results? Regardless, I love Betty Aberlin!)

rampion (I am #6 on yahoo. Too bad for all those folks researching fairy tales or studying up on noshie salad veggies)

commercial + funky sweaters (I am #2 on google. How much do I hate the dude who is number one? He was talking about the same thing I was. Why does he make the cut and I don't?)

slut clothes (I am #23 on Yahoo. What a proud day.)

"express for men"-mall (I am #3 on google. Better yet, I am surrounded by other people making fun of 'Express for Men' in their diaries. One of the other people says that 'Express for Men' finally came up with a real website, but it must be a pretty sucky one, considering that all of our mockery still rates higher on google than it. :)

"cosby" & "funky sweaters" (#1 on Yahoo! All that mid-80s TV watching suddenly pays off!)

Pepe + muppets (#15. The best part is that every time I add another one of these, my chances of being googled go up a little more.)

nick + at + nite + cosby + show + commercial (#7! I hope it was the funky sweaters commercial they were researching, or they were probably really disappointed)

jellie + shoes (I am #7 here too. Because I am such the expert and all. Did I mention that my pair is now buried in my parents' back yard?)

turnip + club (I am #6. And no, I'm not starting one.)

vaso + vago (I am #3. I hope that person wasn't seeking actual medical advice, because they are screwed coming here for anything more than light comedy about keeling over.)

"express for men" (I am #19. Seeing as how the #1 site was the store's official website--hey, they do have one!--I have no idea what this person was looking for that they kept on clicking until they came to me.)

Anderson + Cooper + Hammer + pants (And I am #1. There are several reasons why this is totally wrong, starting with the fact that Anderson Cooper isn't even mentioned on the page in question. I blame a gypsy curse.)

"banana hair clips" (I am #7. Obviously the secret to getting lots of google hits is to randomly list the touchstones of certain cyberaddicted generations.)

Nick + at + Nite + Ads + Gap (I am #2. What is it about my google blurb that makes this site seem such a likely font of information on the topic? I was as puzzled by the commercial as anyone else.)

Cosby + Funky (#4. And, well he is, isn't he?)

2002 + GAP + commercials (#31 on Yahoo, but better yet...)

GAP + commercials + 2002 (this way it is #32)

gap + commercials + country (I am #8 on google. A crazy little thing called love, indeed.)

turnip + fan (#1. And I am a #1 turnip fan, of course. Except for eating them.)

Rainbow + Brite + coloring + pages (#2. Those sound really cool. I hope this person will let the rest of us know when they find them.)

pepe + shrimp (#7 as the reign of pepe continues)

Pepe + commercial (#3. Ditto.)

shrimp + muppets + gifts (#1. What am I? A mall kiosk?)

"funky sweaters" + cosby (#1. The mystery of this commercial continues, apparently.)

gap + commercial + cosby + commercial + nick + at + nite (#3. Of course, as we all know now, it isn't really a gap commercial.)

for + me + and + me + mate (#3. And no I don't have a mug of ale for you.)

"dost thou have a mug of ale" (#2 on yahoo, but I still don't have that mug.)

colon blow SNL (#7. Me and the fifteen-year-old olds of the world are still amused by this.)

"corner bakery" + diaryland (#4. If this is someone's name, and this guy was looking for your diary...oops.)

skirt + headstand (#17. That sounds vaguely pervy, doesn't it?)

"boys dress-up like girls" (#2. Because the party never stops around here.)

overachieving + banana (#2 on yahoo. Puzzling, because I am a turnip, not a banana.)

My + little + pony + coloring + pages (#53 on Danish google. I guess that show is only hitting their airwaves now.)

Dings + In + Ass (#2 on German google. I like the part where they capitalized it.)